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‘I’d like to give you some feedback’

A 2-day workshop on the art of talking about the impact of what people say and do

Years ago, I took part in a course about selection interviewing. In my practice session with a guinea pig candidate, I deviated from the recommended structure of the interview. It didn’t work!

Feedback came from other participants and from the course tutor.

A participant noticed that as my interviewee’s voice got quieter, so too did mine. This was useful information because I could see that by mirroring his tone, I was draining the energy out of our conversation.

The course tutor gave his feedback in a very different way. Commenting on my overall lack of success, his words were along the lines of ‘that will teach you not to ignore the rules’, said with a gloating tone of voice..

I got the sense that his ego was more important than my learning. Ironically, my ‘mistake’ delivered far richer learning for me than following the rules would have done.

I find it sad that feedback is so often given in a judgmental way. Little wonder, then, that the very words ‘I’d like to give you some feedback’ trigger apprehension. Whether it’s at work or in the context of family and friends, ‘feedback’ tends to send the message ‘you’ve done something wrong and I want you to change’.

Yet feedback that isn’t given can be a breeding ground for conflict. So how do we manage ourselves so that feedback is both helpful and delivered with care? And how can we receive it as a contribution to growth rather than an assessment of our weaknesses?

In this workshop, we’ll explore how to take the terror out of giving and receiving feedback by looking at it from two perspectives: offering it as:

  • an expression of the impact that someone’s words and/or deeds have had on us,
  • a contribution to another person’s learning.

Expressing the impact means being very clear about what was said and/or done and how it landed on us, followed by a willingness to enquire into where the other person was coming from when they did what they did.

The second perspective on feedback requires us to check that our genuine intention is to make a contribution to learning and that the person we want to offer feedback to is willing to receive it.

When: Dates in January 2019 to be confirmed

Where: Guildford

Cost: £190.00 (or £220.00 if you can set it against your tax liabilities)

Please note that I do not want anyone to be prevented from attending through lack of funds. So if £190.00 is too big a stretch for you, please let me know what you can happily pay.